I’m not broken, you’re broken!

Fuck!

I think I have hit rock bottom again! I’ve been here before. The furniture is a bit dusty, but the space is familiar. It feels like a pattern. Its not a pattern I care to continue. Alas, I am here.

I’m pretty sure I left my job today. I don’t think they realize it yet. When I said I was done, that should have sent the message but somehow I still don’t believe it has been received. I’ll do my best to enjoy the upcoming weekend and see where the cards have landed on Monday.  

It is situations like this that I hate that I am different. I have come to terms with it and have even accepted it, but I wish I could see and understand the world like everyone else. I believe it would be easier. I could use easier right now.

With the newfound extra time on my hands, I am going to try to get back into the practice of writing. I’m going to write what is on my mind. Time after time I have felt I needed to use this space to find and fill a niche. That way I could one day monetize it and use it as a passive income stream. I read once that having passive income streams is cool. Frankly I don’t give a fuck anymore.

I’m probably going to swear a lot. It is more natural for me. It is more authentic. I know it is more polite to say “I don’t have a strong opinion” rather than “I don’t give a fuck” but fuck, this is my space. I can say whatever the fuck I want to say. So fuck off! 😊

I’m scared.

I don’t like not knowing what the future holds. That’s the anxiety in me. I must tame that bitch soon. I don’t care for her too much, yet she always sticks around and shows up in the most inopportune times.

On that note, I hope to be back with regular posts welcoming in all to join in my neurosis. Yay!