How the fuck did I get here?
Can I say fuck? It’s my blog, of course I can say fuck.
FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!
Now that we got that out of the way, back to my original question: How the fuck did I get here?
I don’t know! I sort of just let it happen. I stopped giving attention to things, people, and ideas that once were important to me. My world was shook a year ago and I am still picking up the pieces.
It was my fault, I own it. It doesn’t make it any easier to forgive myself and others who played a role. A fucking year, and I have both gotten better and made things worse.
I take my meds and see my counselor. Anxiety is under control. Depression creeps in every so often but I feel it is manageable. Life continues around me. I have a difficult time participating because I still feel so lost and confused.
What the fuck happened to me?
That’s not the right question.
The right question is why did I allow myself to get here?