So a good portion, we are talking at least 85% of my indecision, comes from in irrational fear of not making the perfect decision. Even a right decision is not good enough. It has to be hands down the best decision that could be made. How utterly fucked up is that?
I am essentially missing out on so much because I would rather calculate every possible thing that might go wrong than taking a chance that plenty of good can come out of a decision. I am paralyzing myself, then feeling bad for myself for the situations I have put myself in in the first place.
I believe my rational mind is intelligent as fuck but my emotional mind is stuck in a its own version of victim mode. I’m getting tired of it.
Over my vacation away from my family I discovered a new YouTube channel called Yes Theory. It is a group of vloggers who film themselves doing activities amongst themselves and with strangers completely out of their comfort zone. It essentially shows how taking chances can lead to experiences never thought possible. Its inspiring. It gives me the feels.
My counseling session today really focused on my inability to make decisions without anxiety. I told him how I am sick and tired of those feelings. We both came to the same conclusion.
Suck it up. Just do it. See where it leads.