For as long as I can remember I have always thought of July 15 as the middle of the year.
I know it is 15 days into the 7th month but since I was little June, July, and August were “summer.” This is likely due to school schedules where I got off for summer vacation in the early days of June and went back in late August. It was around this point where I started getting ready for the year ahead.
My life revolved around academic years not necessarily calendar years. New beginnings started in September, not January.
Even after I left academia and entered what I deemed to be “adulthood” I saw autumn as a fresh start and spring (especially mid-March to early April) as the year winding down. I still hold a vivid albeit pointless memory of writing a March expiration date on pre-made salads in Commons Dining Hall at Bowling Green State University sometime in the 1999-2000 time frame. Random, I know albeit a strong memory that pops in and out of my head more often than one would think.
I’m using the idea again to put myself on a timeline. I’m coming to the realization the perfect job may not exist, and if it does, the humans or algorithms that decide may not agree with my desires. That’s fucking life. I may not like it but feeling sorry for myself isn’t going to make it any better for me nor make life give any more shits than it has already tossed in my general direction.
With that said I’m going to easy myself back into regular exercise and better nutrition because I don’t like the way I have let my body go. I’m going to look for work I know I can tolerate and gives me the time I desire to spend with my family as well as the income to achieve my goals.
That may mean going back into food service but it will be on my terms. I don’t mind production but I have no desire to go back to the line or made-to-order. I don’t mind management but I don’t want to sell my soul and sacrifice my family for a few thousand dollars per year more.
Most importantly, and this will be the most difficult, I do not want to identify my self-worth or value based upon what I am doing for money. Be it a job at McDonald’s or the FBI, my value as an individual needs to be the same.