The world will continue to exist regardless of my perception.
For the past year I have been focused on mental health recovery and a bunch of new-age belief systems packaged nicely for human consumption. I have brushed aside getting emotionally involved in the political debates occurring in the United States, and while I have my opinions, I don’t feel the need to passionately scream them from the rooftops (or in this day and age, plaster them all over social media platforms).
I enjoy the psychology of “manifesting your desires” but can do without the “magic” that is the allure to many. In accepting that I live in a reality created by my mind in reaction to my environment I can accept that once I have control over my thoughts, I can better control my perceptions. The “ask, believe, receive” mantra made popular by The Secret irks me because it portrays such a simple promise that if I just wish hard enough I can have that new life magically appear in front of me. If it doesn’t happen, I didn’t wish hard enough—so buy a few “companion” resources, attend a seminar or two, maybe a retreat, and definitely that page-a-day “motivational” calendar recommended by Amazon when I was looking to re-order more specialty garbage bags for that fancy trash can someone purchased for us as a wedding gift.
I’m irritated with myself that I have allowed my life to slip out of control again. I have put on weight since losing my job in October and going on medication in December. Fitness was once a big priority of me just a year ago and it is now something I struggle with to stay motivated. I think it may be nearly two weeks since I have last been to the gym. I have eaten ice cream for the past three nights.
I feel like a supporting actor in my own story.
To be a side-note in your own life is not a good place to be.
Is it time to wipe the slate clean again?
What goes? What stays (besides the obvious)? How do I start over?
My family is going on vacation for a week starting tomorrow. I have a week alone to reflect and ponder before “normalcy” returns.