Forced Action, Feeling “Blah”, Existence


It is definitely a day of what I like to call “forced action.” A lack of motivation and sense of urgency is clouding my ability to do anything deemed productive. My counseling session this morning was uneventful. It wasn’t bad, but I didn’t get much “therapy” from it either. Even sitting down to write these words is a struggle, and if I were to be completely honest, a second attempt at sitting down to write.

My yard is mildly flooded from a couple of thunderstorms that hit yesterday leaving yard projects for a later date. Both gardens are caught up in terms of maintenance. I need to start looking for work again but I’m still at a loss as to where to start.

I’m feeling a little groggy. I didn’t fall asleep until after 1 a.m. even with the help of a sleep aid and was up just before 6 a.m. My accomplishments so far have been going to my session and eating a meal.

It really is just a “blah” day. I’m not in a bad mood or a good mood. I’m not anxious or depressed. I just am, but not even in the good way of being mindful or present. I’m existing and that is not a state I enjoy very much.


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