Happy Father’s Day to my fellow Dads out there!
There was a time in my life I never thought I would be a father. I was okay with that. It was never a burning desire to have offspring of my own. Nearly 5 years later I could not imagine a life without my little girl in it!
So I just broke free from the mental confines of another depressive episode. My wife was concerned, my daughter was unaffected, and my fitness plan took a hit because I stopped tracking what I ate and made it to the gym a total of twice during the week. I gained 0.2 pounds. It’s not much but I had a gain the week prior as well. I’m not heading in the right direction in that area of my life.
As I said in my post yesterday, I am noticing a pattern of when episodes hit. The are definitely shorter and less intense than before I started treatment but they are still occurring. I need to dive into the why rather than focusing so much on coping mechanisms. I’d rather heal than deal.
I’m still excited about the garden project on the side of the garage. I need to incorporate a bit more “nature” into my life. I like the idea of growing food. For me it serves more purpose than growing pretty plants.
This week I am going to seek inspiration. I feel like I a just a spark shy of starting a fire. I just don’t know if it is candlelight or a raging wildfire at this point when it starts.