Climbing Out of the Darkness


Who would have thought the end of this latest episode would be facilitated by the idea of planting a salad greens and herb garden on the side of the garage?

I’m not out of it yet as the switch does not happen with the snap of my fingers, but I am slowly climbing out of the darkness and embracing the moment.

The idea pulled me out and gave me a point of focus. It was a project to be excited about, not a chore needing to be done. Maybe that is the difference. Maybe a trigger is when I don’t feel like I have a sense of purpose. I always thought it was when my wife said something dumb, but don’t tell her that.

I’ve noticed I have minor episodes about once every two weeks. They last a couple of days and fade away. It’s something to bring up with my counselor and definitely something to bring up with my head doctor. I see my counselor next week and the doctor next month. Could I be on to something? Nah, I’m just becoming aware of my “head” cycles.

Enough about that, I have a new project to plan!



  1. Depressive episodes can definitely occur in cycles and for others it can occur randomly or persistently. So you are onto something. Glad the garden has brought your mood up a bit. I was dealing with some pretty bad anxiety yesterday and it seemed cleaning helped me to calm down a bit. Plus my wife and I redecorated some elements of our living room and patio. All the movement made me too tired to be anxious anymore haha. Take care

    1. I’m trying to pay attention to as much as possible— which gets difficult when I am in the middle of it. It is my hope the more I understand, the more I will be able to manage. I don’t like the idea of blindly following the ideas of others while mindlessly popping medicine.

      1. Awareness is definitely 60% or more of the battle. The other part is figuring out what to do with the knowledge about yourself you’ve gained.

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