I continue to struggle with mental clutter. I feel it is one of the major factors that is holding me back from living my best life. It is something I have discussed endlessly with my counselor yet I remain in a feedback loop. “But” has become my worst enemy.
I could mow the lawn before it rains but it will be nicer weather tomorrow.
I could fix the hole in the wall but that will require me going to the store to purchase the supplies.
I could go to the gym but I feel like I am getting more out of endless circular planning for a hypothetical future.
You get the point.
The foundation of my mental clutter is simply having too many choices. My mind feels the need to over-analyze every decision and possible choice. From what to eat for breakfast to my next potential career—everything decision simple or complex gets dissected to death.
It is overwhelming.
It explains why I must segment my life. I have to break it off into separate chunks of manageable data. I can then take that data and analyze the crap out of it. I can weigh one option against another and try to come up with the decision which would be best at the moment.
Yes, a spinach and feta omelette will be more satisfying than oatmeal this morning.
I love structure and organization. It makes the decision making process easier. It keeps data in a place where it can be easily accessed.
Part of my struggle with anxiety stems from this. Creating functional systems to manage the chaos may be the next step in my recovery.