Living with Purpose

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I’ve said it before and will say it again— I am so grateful for the opportunity to spend time with my family this summer. In the past I was sleeping during the day and working at night. It was too difficult on days off to change my sleep pattern so those days were spent “wasted” binge watching television series and movies. I barely saw my daughter, and when I did it was just for a few moments. Our relationship was not nearly as strong as it is today.

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I am afforded the opportunity to experience what so many others tend to take for granted. Simple days where memories are made. Vacations to exotic places are nice, but special moments are more valuable to me.

There were two statements that resonated with me when I heard them yesterday.

Time is your most valuable asset.

Nothing happens until you decide.

When it comes to time, it is the one commodity you can never get more of and when it is gone, you can never get back. None of us know how much time we truly possess. Oddly enough, it is only when we are told our time is running out that we genuinely grasp our human experience is finite.

In dealing with my mental illness it breaks my heart knowing how much time I wasted in the lows of depression and the worry of anxiety rather than appreciating and being grateful for the present moment. It hurts my heart when I still get frustrated over something so trivial like a rude stranger or dealing with an episode that puts me in a “dark place” for an unspecified period of time.

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The second statement is more powerful than the first when you truly grasp the strength of it. Because of the Principle of Mentalism which broadly states all is mind, the power of thought cannot exist until you take action. From perception to manifestation, until a decision is made in the form of thought, nothing happens.

I will never possess the physical form I desire until I decide to make it a priority. I need to desire said change more than the pleasure of a cheeseburger in the moment. I need to have a stronger will to exercise than watch the latest episode of Westworld on HBO. I need to decide what is the stronger priority and take said action.

The practice of mindfulness and gratitude, while not always easy, has become a key focus in my recovery. I’ve discovered meditation practice aids in mindfulness while gratitude becomes easier when I can stay in the moment.

I accept that I am learning. I accept that some days I take a step or two back rather than moving forward. I accept that life is about the journey in the now, not a future or past that can only exist in the mind.

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