Practice What You Preach

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I have written about thinking in terms of feelings rather than things but I have failed in practice recently when it comes to my own life. Like so many other situations, the old saying “easier said than done” holds truth.

So I will try a little exercise not knowing where it will lead me beforehand. Here goes:

What do you want to feel?

I want to feel excited about my life. I want to wake up in the morning eager for what the day holds. I want to look forward to getting out of bed to get started. It has been so long since I have felt that kind of raw passion for life.

Why do you want to feel that way?

I feel stagnant on so many levels. I lack passion and motivation. It is easy to use mental illness as an excuse, but in all actuality through my recovery process I am building skills on how to deal with these damaging thought forms.

How do you intend on getting there?

And this is always where I get stuck. I simply don’t know how to live without feeling guilt for not being “productive” enough, frustrated because I don’t know what my passions are, anxious because I am afraid what tomorrow might bring, depressed because of the bad things that happened to me in my past. I feel lonely because I have acquaintances rather than friends, unmotivated when progress toward goals rolls along at a snail’s pace.

I wish someone would come in and give me a step-by-step instruction manual on how to get my head on straight. I wish my head was not so damn cluttered.

I need a map.

Will that really help if I don’t know where I am going?

 

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One comment

  1. It may not feel like it, but awareness (which you gained from completing the exercise above) of any kind is progress. Don’t forget to give yourself credit for the little successes.

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