The Bad Days

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Hi! I’m Paul and welcome to my world!

There are days I ask myself what the point of anything is?

Why did I choose a life experience where I need to force myself to function on a level I believe most people consider second nature?

Why do I try to convince myself I have value when I feel invisible the majority of the time?

Does anything even matter?

I tell myself that every day is a fresh start, live in the moment, and mindset is everything. I read books, take medicine, and pay someone to listen to me try to figure out what is going on in my head. I try to calm my mind through meditation. I try to exercise on a regular basis because people smarter than me say it creates chemicals in my brain that is supposed to make me feel better. I try to keep a positive attitude because “fake it until you make it,” right?

I don’t want to be sick. I don’t want to be lonely. I want to feel joy other than times when my daughter looks at me and smiles.

What happened? It wasn’t supposed to be this way.

Smile for the selfie.

People are judging you to feel better about themselves.

You’re welcome…

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