Who am I really?

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Hi! I’m Paul and welcome to my world!

“You are not the voice of the mind but rather the one who hears it.”

It was that simple realization changed everything for me. When I accepted it as truth I was really able to start recovering, as it allowed me disconnect with the story I identified with and my feeling that I wasn’t enough. Both of which were holding me back.

On a side note, as I was writing this I did a search for the “voice of the mind” phrase in an attempt to attribute it to someone, somewhere, or something. It certainly is not an original thought I can claim authorship for.  In me it was partially inspired by The Untethered Soul, the book I have been referring to in my last few posts, and is an idea German author Eckhart Tolle has referenced countless times in his work. What interested me upon completing my search was references to Transcendentalism, a 19th-century American philosophical movement made popular by the likes of Ralph Waldo Emerson and Henry David Thoreau. I’m not all that familiar with the transcendental movement so it will certainly become a study topic for me in the very near future.  I tend to nerd out like that sometimes!

However, back to my original story. When I started to pay attention to the voice of my own mind, it looked a little something like this:

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“Walk over there. Pick up the towel. Electric bill is due. Kitchen is dirty. I need to find a job. Wipe down the counter. I need to check the bank account balance. Should I go to the gym today? I’m tired. Coffee. Should I make a full pot or just a pod? Are the dishes clean or dirty. Walk to the dishwasher. Open the dishwasher. Look at the dishes. Shit, did I pay my student loans this month? Dishes are dirty. Oh, yeah—coffee”

This would be about 30 seconds to 1-minute of activity of my waking mind. It has been mostly edited for adult content and to provide more clarity for reader comprehension.

I believe many of us operate in this same state. We give meaningless play-by-play speeches to ourselves to make sense of the world around us. It is our only way to begin to comprehend our experience in the outside world. We are essentially creating a perspective of the world around us in our own mind.

By not identifying with the voice but rather the one who hears it we accept we are conscious of that voice. We are taking outside experience and making a mental interpretation. Our TRUE self is pure consciousness experiencing our mental model of reality, not reality itself.

If you can accept that, you can really begin to change your life!

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